Monday, January 18, 2016

Shakespeare Experts Assess Translations

This is a blog by Mark O'Connor about translating Shakespeare's plays into contemporary English verse. 

This blog includes samples of my own translations, which are in verse and are intended for stage use.  It does not deal with non-literary translations like the No Fear Shakespeare series, which offer prose cribs for students. 

Samples of these translations, plus answers to obvious questions like "Why translate?", will be found in the earlier postings in this blog.


I aim to provide theatre-ready versions of Shakespeare plays, with the verse-rhythms and subtleties of the original text preserved,  faithfully and minimally translated into intelligible modern international English. 


Most of the world gets its Shakespeare plays in translation, and still finds them  wonderful. Yet there has been a taboo on performing him in contemporary English.  The idea of not modernising the plot or the characters, but simply translating Shakespeare into contemporary international English, much as one might translate him into German or Urduis still thought quite radical. I know of only one other translator who has been doing so.


But this will change. In October 2015 the Oregon Shakespeare Festival announced that it is commissioning 36 translators--yes 36-- to translate all Shakespeare's plays into modern English. Over the next few years these translations should begin to appear. 


Because making—or seeking to stage—such translations breaks a considerable taboo, I decided to seek academic endorsement. I recently submitted my translations of three plays, plus detailed scholarly notes, for a (very mature-age) PhD. I had great supervisors in Professors Dennis Haskell and Bob White at UWA; and there was backing for the idea from John Bell of Bell Shakespeare Company, the late Professor Ralph Elliott, Paul Prescott at Warwick, and others. But there was still some nervousness from my supervisors as to how the PhD examiners would react.

In fact they were enthused, and went much beyond the usual gruff evaluations. One wrote:

a remarkable and brilliant achievement, and on so many levels . . . innovative, original, ground-breaking and bold. It requires of its exponent verbal and linguistic dexterity of a high order, a finely attuned ear, and a dogged scholarly inquisitiveness. All of these this translator possesses in abundance. . . . Shakespeare scholars may not be O’Connor’s ideal readers or target audience, but I confess to galloping through this invigorating version of Henry IV Part 1 in one go, and with enormous pleasure. . . . The translation of Troilus and Cressida is also the jewel in the crown for the translator. I found little to argue about and much to admire in this skillful and deft rendering of Shakespeare’s most linguistically dense and demanding play. . . . [The translations’] theatrical and educational value far exceeds anything else currently out there.

If that piques your curiosity you can find samples of the translations here <http://shakespeare-in-modern-english.blogspot.com.au/> , and an explanation of why they were made in this article in the LA Times.

The translations also come with remarkable endorsements from the handful of Shakespeare experts who have as yet seen them. Philippa Kelly, Resident Dramaturg at the California Shakespeare Theater,  wrote of one:

This is a really brilliant translation of Troilus and Cressida, by a poet who understands that it is Shakespeare’s language, not his plots, that make him "real." Utterly in tune with Shakespeare's metaphor, which goes to the human heart, O'Connor displays a delicacy and ingenious deftness that renders a Shakespeare text a translation without any feeling that the play has indeed been 'translated.' O'Connor's adjustments are nuanced, precise and inconspicuous, releasing Shakespeare's playtext into the modern world.

The great thing about O'Connor's translations is that they are ready for immediate use, without need for further workshopping or adjustment. The dramaturgy/stageability of Shakespeare’s original play is preserved: plot, characters, dramatic ambiguities, subtexts. When a translator can also supply something so close to the original Shakespearian eloquence and musicality of the verse, the result resolves a director’s perennial dilemma: how to win critical plaudits while also making Shakespeare intelligible to a far wider audience. I see O'Connor's translations as theatrical gold.

I have so far translated just 3 plays: Troilus and Cressida, Twelfth Night, and Henry IV Part 1


Samples of the translations are available online here

Or I can be contacted by email: mark@Australianpoet.com 


========================================




Here are some further comments from  Shakespearian experts:



John Bell, director and founder of Bell Shakespeare Company:
(in an open letter to Mark O'Connor) I am very excited with the progress you have made in your work of translating Shakespeare into modern English.  This is work which will prove to be of great significance in preserving our Shakespearian heritage.

Professor Ron Bedford, commenting as a PhD examiner on the submission of the three plays for a PhD in Shakespearian studies:

 . . . The strongest argument for the enterprise, and the real thrust of the project, lies in the performance (and reading) potential of these versions, and the resurrection of Shakespeare among the uninitiated or intimidated.  . . . [The translations ] are clearly the work of a talented poet and verbal craftsman, requiring—and receiving—the closest possible attention to cadence, context, linguistic register, meaning, emotional pressure, and tone.   . . .   Both the ‘low life’ and the political scenes [in Henry IV Part 1]  shed their obscurities but not their vigour, and the antiphon between them shines through.  . . .  It is clearly a labour of love, indeed of passion, dedicated always to the enrichment of our understanding of Shakespeare as a dramatic artist.


Dr. Frank Hentschker, Program Director, Martin E. Segal Theatre Center
Your translation reads as truly modern, no-nonsense and seems to dust off the tired, centuries-old words.



 Emeritus Professor Ralph Elliott:
A brilliantly accurate and vivid translation of one of my favourite Shakespeare plays (Troilus and Cressida). You have brought the play to life in the English of today!






Ken Healey, Script Director of NIDA (National Institute of Dramatic Art),  wrote:

It will be seen that these excerpts are translation, rather than adaptation. The translator is not pretending that this is a play written in the C21st, nor does he presume to suppress "dated" features of the play. It is only the language that is updated: the play's complex balance of ideas is left as far as possible unchanged--though much less obscured. The mix of blank verse, rhymed couplets, and informal half-rhymed verse, is just as in the original. Yet mere clarification changes the experience for the audience; and perhaps re-creates the effects Shakespeare originally intended. 

 . . . The appearance of such a skilled translator represents an important opportunity for theatre companies interested in Shakespeare. The potential increase in audience, if critics consider the translations of  comparable literary/dramatic merit to the originals, is enormous. 

Why Actors & Directors might prefer Translation



Imagine that you are playing Shakespeare's Thersites, and another character has just invited you to "Come in and vituperate" (Act 2, scene 3 of Troilus and Cressida). Which of these two speeches would you rather deliver? ...



 Original     from Troilus and Cressida Act 2, scene 3, lines 26 ff.
THERSITES (aside)
Heaven bless thee from a tutor, and discipline come not near thee. Let thy blood be thy direction till thy death! then if she that lays thee out says thou art a fair corse, I'll be sworn and sworn upon't she never shrouded any but lazars. Amen.


Translation:
THERSITES  (aside)

Heaven bless you from learning anything, and may the tutor called self-restraint stay wide of you! May the itch in your blood be your guide through life! Then if the old woman who lays you out thinks you make a pretty corpse, I’ll be sure she’s only done lepers. Amen.

=============

The actor Emil Wolk (Ariel in Prospero’s Books) has commented:
It is sheer joy to read O’Connor’s re-writes of obscure sentences in the comedy of Twelfth Night! It really makes me want to jump up on stage and play Sir Andrew Aguecheek!  How wonderful the thought of not having to plough through all those obscurely dated comic lines and try to make sense of them on stage to a perplexed and bemused audience.
I really feel excited to witness what I intuitively sense is a mini revolution within Shakespeare’s own genius –one which the Bard himself would be so pleased to know was happening, if he were able to see what is going on.  

David Williamson, playwright, remarked:
I defy anyone who wasn’t a Shakespeare scholar to understand that speech of Thersites when it is spoken on stage. As you say, non-English speaking audiences are lucky enough to get contemporary translations.  . . . The exercise is long overdue.”



Samples of Shakespeare in modern English Verse-Translation

SAMPLES OF SHAKESPEARE IN MODERN ENGLISH TRANSLATION,
--compared with original texts.


The translation is by Mark O’Connor, who can be contacted on tel. + 61 2 6247 3341 or   email  mark@Australianpoet.com .    He has translated Troilus and Cressida, Henry IV Part 1, and Twelfth Night.     

For enthused responses from Shakespeare experts, see the posting  above. 


1. 
Original (Troilus and Cressida Act 3, scene 3, line 75):

'Tis certain, greatness, once fall'n out with fortune,
Must fall out with men too: what the declined is
He shall as soon read in the eyes of others
As feel in his own fall; for men, like butterflies,
Show not their mealy wings but to the summer.

 Translation:

No doubt a great man who falls out with Fortune
Falls out with men. Before he feels his fall,
He’ll read what he now is in others’ eyes
–Since men, like butterflies, need summer days 
To spread their powdery wings.


--------------

2.
Original   (Troilus and Cressida Act 2, scene 2, line 44 ff.)

 HECTOR:            
The wound of peace is surety,
Surety secure; but modest doubt is called
The beacon of the wise, the tent that searches
To th’bottom of the worst. Let Helen go.


Translation:
  
HECTOR:   
Peace wounds us with false certainty,
For sure. And that’s why modest doubt is called
The torchlight of the wise, the probe that finds
The point deep in the wound, the worst we risk.
 --Let Helen go.





--------------

3.
The Kissing Scene (Troilus Act 4, Sc. 5, line 54)

    Original 

 Translation:

 PATROCLUS
That was for Menelaus; this one's mine:
Patroclus kisses you.
MENELAUS
That's an ill-bred whim!
PATROCLUS
Oh Paris and I kiss all the time for him.
MENELAUS
I'll have my kiss, sir! Lady, by your leave.
CRESSIDA
When kissing, do you give or just receive?
PATROCLUS
I take and give.




--------------

4.  
ULYSSES   (original - same scene)
Fie, fie upon her!
There's language in her eye, her cheek, her lip,
Nay, her foot speaks; her wanton spirits look out
At every joint and motive of her body.
O, these encounterers, so glib of tongue,
That give accosting welcome ere it comes,
And wide unclasp the tables of their thoughts
To every ticklish reader! set them down
For sluttish spoils of opportunity
And daughters of the game.

 ULYSSES    (translation)
Shame on her, yes, shame!
There's language in her eye, her cheek, her lip;
Her tapping foot speaks; and lust’s spirit peeps
From each pert bend and flexure of her limbs.
Oh, these hail-fellow girls, so glib of tongue,
That flag the boarding party in before it hails, 
And flip the diaries of their thoughts full frontal
To the itch-loined reader.  Set such sluts down     
For booty that a man may take by chance,
And daughters of the game.
 
--------------


5.   from Twelfth Night

Original  (Act 1, Sc 5)
 Feste "Now mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou speak'st well of  fools.

  
Translation
Feste.   Yea! Mercury, god of fast talkers, give this lady a franchise; she speaks well of fools.


--------------

6.
Original:
Twelfth Night Act 3, Sc 1
OLIVIA:  
 Under your hard construction must I sit,
To force that on you in a shameful cunning
Which you knew none of yours. What might you think?
Have you not set mine honour at the stake,
And baited it with all th'unmuzzled thoughts
That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receiving
Enough is shown; a cypress, not a bosom,
Hideth my heart: so, let me hear you speak.

 --
  Translation:

OLIVIA:
 Your harshest judgement's what I must accept:
--To force that ring upon you by deceit, 
Which you well know's not yours. What might you think?
Have you not tied my honour to the stake
Like some poor shambling bear, and baited it
With all the un-muzzled hounds of blabbing thought
A tyrant heart can think? Enough's been shown
For one of your quick uptake to perceive.  
A lace veil, not a breast-bone, hides my heart. So, Now, sir, may I hear you speak?

--------------

7.
Twelfth Night Act 1, Scene 3

Translation
Sir Toby  What’s your level of excellence in a free fandango, knight?
Sir And.  God’s truth, I can cut a caper. I can cut the mustard.
Sir Toby  And I can cut the mutton for it.

Sir And.  And I think I have the back-move about as perfect as any man in Illyria.
Sir Toby  But why are these things hid? How come these gifts are curtained off—as if they mustn’t get dust on them, like Miss Mary’s portrait? Why don’t you go to church in a samba, and come home at a rumba? If I were you, every walk I did would be a jig. I would not so much as piss in a chamberpot but with rhythm, at a sink-a-pace. What has held you back so long? is this a world to hide virtues in? I knew it, by the exquisite shape of your leg, I knew it had been shaped under the star of a jitterbug.
Sir And.  Yes, it’s a strong leg, and it looks not too bad in half a pair of flame-red tights. Shall we flash into a dance?


Original

8.
ULYSSES' argument about fame:           (Troilus and Cressida Act 3, Scene 3)
Translation
Time has, my lord, a knapsack on his back,
Where he flings food-scraps for oblivion.
This Time’s a great monster of ingratitudes.
His scraps are good deeds past, which are devoured
As fast as made, and then forgotten soon
As done. Only persistence, my dear lord,
Keeps honour bright. To pull back is to rust
Out-moded, like old armour on a wall
In monumental mockery. I recommend,
Keep up to date and at the front with Honour.
She canters on a bridle-path so narrow,
Just one can ride abreast. Let him persist;
For competition breeds a thousand sons
Who each in turn pursue. If you give way,
Or veer an inch from the true upward path,
Swift as a tide breaks in, they all rush past
And leave you floundering; no better than
A gallant horse that falls in the first rank
To be a pavement for the vile rearguard
—Smashed down and scrambled over.  

  ULYSSES 

Samples of Shakespeare in modern English Verse-Translation

SAMPLES OF SHAKESPEARE IN MODERN ENGLISH TRANSLATION,
--compared with original texts.


The translation is by Mark O’Connor, who can be contacted on tel. + 61 2 6247 3341 or   email  mark@Australianpoet.com .    He has translated Troilus and Cressida, Henry IV Part 1, and Twelfth Night.     

For enthused responses from Shakespeare experts, see the next posting   


1. 
Original   (Troilus and Cressida Act 2, scene 2, line 44 ff.)

 HECTOR:            
The wound of peace is surety,
Surety secure; but modest doubt is called
The beacon of the wise, the tent that searches
To th’bottom of the worst. Let Helen go.


Translation:
  
HECTOR:   
Peace wounds us with false certainty,
For sure. And that’s why modest doubt is called
The torchlight of the wise, the probe that finds
The point deep in the wound, the worst we risk.
 --Let Helen go.


--------------
2.
Original (Troilus and Cressida Act 3, scene 3, line 75):

'Tis certain, greatness, once fall'n out with fortune,
Must fall out with men too: what the declined is
He shall as soon read in the eyes of others
As feel in his own fall; for men, like butterflies,
Show not their mealy wings but to the summer.

 Translation:

No doubt a great man who falls out with Fortune
Falls out with men. Before he feels his fall,
He’ll read what he now is in others’ eyes
–Since men, like butterflies, need summer days 
To spread their powdery wings.



3.
The Kissing Scene (Troilus Act 4, Sc. 5, line 54)

Original 
PATROCLUS

 Translation:

 PATROCLUS
That was for Menelaus; this one's mine:
Patroclus kisses you.
MENELAUS
That's an ill-bred whim!
PATROCLUS
Oh Paris and I kiss all the time for him.
MENELAUS
I'll have my kiss, sir! Lady, by your leave.
CRESSIDA
When kissing, do you give or just receive?
PATROCLUS
I take and give.


4.  
ULYSSES   (original - same scene)
Fie, fie upon her!
There's language in her eye, her cheek, her lip,
Nay, her foot speaks; her wanton spirits look out
At every joint and motive of her body.
O, these encounterers, so glib of tongue,
That give accosting welcome ere it comes,
And wide unclasp the tables of their thoughts
To every ticklish reader! set them down
For sluttish spoils of opportunity
And daughters of the game.

 ULYSSES    (translation)
Shame on her, yes, shame!
There's language in her eye, her cheek, her lip;
Her tapping foot speaks; and lust’s spirit peeps
From each pert bend and flexure of her limbs.
Oh, these hail-fellow girls, so glib of tongue,
That flag the boarding party in before it hails, 
And flip the diaries of their thoughts full frontal
To the itch-loined reader.  Set such sluts down     
For booty that a man may take by chance,
And daughters of the game.
 


5.   from Twelfth Night

Original  (Act 1, Sc 5)
 Feste "Now mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou speak'st well of  fools.

  
Translation
Feste.   Yea! Mercury, god of fast talkers, give this lady a franchise; she speaks well of fools.


----------

6.
Original:
Twelfth Night Act 3, Sc 1
OLIVIA:  
 Under your hard construction must I sit,
To force that on you in a shameful cunning
Which you knew none of yours. What might you think?
Have you not set mine honour at the stake,
And baited it with all th'unmuzzled thoughts
That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receiving
Enough is shown; a cypress, not a bosom,
Hideth my heart: so, let me hear you speak.

 --
  Translation:

OLIVIA:
 Your harshest judgement's what I must accept:
--To force that ring upon you by deceit, 
Which you well know's not yours. What might you think?
Have you not tied my honour to the stake
Like some poor shambling bear, and baited it
With all the un-muzzled hounds of blabbing thought
A tyrant could invent? Enough's been shown
For one of your quick uptake to perceive.  
A lace veil, not a breast-bone, hides my heart. So, Now, sir, may I hear you speak?



7.
Twelfth Night Act 1, Scene 3

Translation
  Sir Toby  What’s your level of excellence in a free fandango, knight?
Sir And.  God’s truth, I can cut a caper. I can cut the mustard.
  Sir Toby  And I can cut the mutton for it.

Sir And.  And I think I have the back-move about as perfect as any man in Illyria.
  Sir Toby  But why are these things hid? How come these gifts are curtained off—as if they mustn’t get dust on them, like Miss Mary’s portrait? Why don’t you go to church in a samba, and come home at a rumba? If I were you, every walk I did would be a jig. I would not so much as piss in a chamberpot but with rhythm, at a sink-a-pace. What has held you back so long? is this a world to hide virtues in? I knew it, by the exquisite shape of your leg, I knew it had been shaped under the star of a jitterbug.
  Sir And.  Yes, it’s a strong leg, and it looks not too bad in half a pair of flame-red tights. Shall we flash into a dance?



 Original
SIR TOBY BELCH
SIR TOBY BELCH



8.
ULYSSES (Troilus and Cressida Act 3, Scene 3)
Translation
Time has, my lord, a knapsack on his back,
Where he flings food-scraps for oblivion.
This Time’s a great monster of ingratitudes.
His scraps are good deeds past, which are devoured
As fast as made, and then forgotten soon
As done. Only persistence, my dear lord,
Keeps honour bright. To pull back is to rust
Out-moded, like old armour on a wall
In monumental mockery. I recommend,
Keep up to date and at the front with Honour.
She canters on a bridle-path so narrow,
Just one can ride abreast. Let him persist;
For competition breeds a thousand sons
Who each in turn pursue. If you give way,
Or veer an inch from the true upward path,
Swift as a tide breaks in, they all rush past
And leave you floundering; no better than
A gallant horse that falls in the first rank
To be a pavement for the vile rearguard
—Smashed down and scrambled over.  

  ULYSSES